As you may have seen in my 'I'll be back soon' post, I've been to all four corners of the UK and have been doing all sorts of things! One of those was a hen party for a lovely lady who I dub my 'Sister' although we aren't related and who I will be a bridesmaid for later this year. As often happens when you don't live close together, I know very few (actually just two) of her friends and so I was embarking on a weekend away with lots of ladies I don't know, haven't met and won't see again until the wedding.
Like me, my friend Meg is very open and so when I appeared in Cosmopolitan, she proudly flashed it around, showing her friends and telling them about me! I was very touched, but what it did mean was that they had an expectation of me, and I had none about them. For the second time this year, I got into my car, hopped onto the M5 motorway and aimed towards Alton Towers. Alas, a car fire caused huge delays and I arrived hours after everyone else, making it even more daunting walking into the group.
Everyone was fabulously friendly and I was rocking one of my favourite wigs so my confidence was fine; I blended with the group, spent a lovely day in the park and then headed back to the 'Enchanted Woodland' house we'd rented (which are beautiful if you get the chance to try one), including a private deck and hot tub. Despite my general lack of body hair - super smooth legs for example - this was the bit I was dreading. As you know, I'm not unhappy with being bald, but what I am conscious of is making other people uncomfortable when I don't need to. For me, a wig isn't about hiding something, but it is about being considerate and not forcing myself and my situation on those who didn't ask for it! So, back to the hot tub - a decision between a wet wig and going bald in front of a group of girls I've only just met! That decided it - I won't make others feel uncomfortable, so I'm into the bikini and into the hot tub, wig and all.
Meg comes out, takes one look at me and says 'Get. It. Off'. Not that she was applying pressure - it was caring actually - but I was quick to explain I didn't want other people to be uncomfortable. Cue the silence and some odd looks as if the ladies had no idea what I was talking about or worrying about for that matter.
As you might have gathered from this blog, I'm not exactly shy, so for me, this was pretty reserved. I took one look at the faces and in that minute I knew - I was being an idiot and making it more not less uncomfortable by being so awkward! Off came the wig onto the deck and then I relaxed - a hot tub, some fabulous girls and the ability to be myself.
From that point of the evening on, I minced around the house with no wig on and they didn't blink! It was liberating and was great to know that most people couldn't care less - genuinely they don't give it a second thought. How fabulous!
Before now, my three main 'types' of experience of being bald have been:
- Being amongst family, friends and colleagues that know and like / love me, where a lack of hair changes nothing
- Being bald with other baldies, in public or in private where I'm not 'the odd one out' so it's a moot point
- Being bald on my own in situations where I neither know nor worry about their thoughts or feelings because frankly, I'm hardly likely to see them again!
I guess the moral to this story is easy - we spend too much time worrying about others and actually, it makes us act differently to the way we should or really want to. At every stage, people have suprised me and actually I should know by now just to be myself!
As I reread this before posting, there is one thing that strikes me - despite my love of being bald and my confidence in my own looks, I do still care about other people and worry about what they think and how I make them feel. Something more for me to ponder at some stage - what is the right balance?!
Hope you enjoyed my first post in a while! I should stay on track now and be back filling your feeds and inboxes on a regular basis!
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| A not too great picture of me in the hot tub! |
Big love and thank you!
Victoria x
www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald
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