Joking aside... or perhaps not...

A couple of days ago, I overheard one of those terribly predictable but nonetheless funny jokes that start 'A blonde, a brunette and a redhead' and which inevitably end with a derogatory comment about blondes being stupid. I've told a few of them in my time and heard even more, but for the first time it occurred to me that these jokes exclude the fourth biggest sector of hair society - us baldies.

I started racking my brains to see if I had heard any jokes at all with reference to those of us that have alopecia, chemotherapy hairloss, trichotillomania, etc., but nope, I couldn't think of any! In fact, the only joke at all that I've heard was a truly terrible one in the comments section of a Daily Mail article about the Pretty Bald Calendar, which said:

"What do you call a group of bald people on a raft?
Beans on Toast!"

It barely makes sense, let alone being funny, but I have to be honest, it really is the only one that I can think of hearing / reading. Having puzzled out something new to think about, I did what I always do and popped onto Google; I searched "Bald Jokes" and whilst there were a lot listed, there were none I considered high-calibre, 'good' jokes and many more which offered poor, inadequate humour.

It got me thinking? Why is it that we don't have good humour relating to perhaps one of the most obvious targets on the planet? Is baldness still such a taboo that we dare not voice a joke in case of offence, let alone invent them in the first place? Have all the bald jokes through history flopped and failed to get a laugh? Perhaps it is just considered bad taste to point out a lack of follicles, whether to a balding man or woman? Or perhaps it just isn't a topic worth mentioning?

At the end of it all I am still not sure why; perhaps it is the fear of the unknown, not knowing how people will take it?

For me, I'm not sure I would take offence at a joke about my lack of hair, if made by a stranger, but I do suspect I'd probably be stony-faced and a little upset. It is not, after all, nice to be the butt of someone else's joke. That said though, my own family, and the friends who know me really well, have often made jokes about my lack of hair and my baldness, from drumming my head to stupid play-on-words about 'hair'. It is something for which I will always be grateful - teaching me that my lack of hair was not the end of the world and reminding me that it is important to laugh, no matter what life throws at you. Perhaps then, we do not need 'a blonde, a brunette, a redhead and a baldie walk into the bar', but in fact need to surround ourselves with people who know and love us enough to remind us, that hairloss really isn't so bad! You never know, in a few years time if we've managed to change societal perceptions of baldness, we'll be the proud owner of our own set of jokes that we can share with the world...

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

Challenge yourself to change your perspectives...

Our perceptions of things is formed over time as we grow, develop and experience things. In fact, we'll start to categorise things from a young age, based on experiences, simply to enable us to make decisions faster and more efficiently. Many archaeology-anthropologists will argue that it's a safety mechanism evolved to protect us in potentially dangerous situations; it's why many people (wrongly) have an ingrained wariness and suspicion of anyone who is 'different' to them, born of a deep, ingrained perception or pre-conception.

These perceptions are influenced and changed by a number of factors, from our environment to our experiences, to our culture and our parents. In fact, so strongly can our own perceptions be influenced by others, we'll adopt them despite no first-hand experience; this makes considering another point of view totally alien. To give you an example, when doing my degree, we did a small amount of Anthropology, which is the study of humans and their behaviours in societies; one example which really illustrates the point I am making and has stuck with me since then is when you considered the eating habits of Romany Gypsies. According to a research study, the average white, middle-class person would never consider eating without a knife and fork, and except in socially accepted scenarios (like eating a burger), will never opt to use their hands / fingers to consume food. In fact, the majority will consider the germs on their hands and rule eating with their hands as dirty. Turn instead to the historic Romany Gypsy, and they consumed all of their food using their hands and fingers! Sounds madness, but in their culture, eating implements are considered dirty as it is unclear where they have been, whereas their hands are considered preferable as they can be assured of their cleanliness. Now, when you look at it this way, their logic is sound, meaning neither option is wrong, simply different.

I promise there is a point to this rambling, but these thoughts were prompted when cruising through one of the Facebook communities. I came across a post from a gorgeous lady called Summer from Oregan, USA. She posted "my daughter just turned three, two weeks ago and has really started noticing that others are different from me. I always thought I would end up having the "why does Mommy not have hair like everyone else" talk, however it has turned into, "why do others have hair". I never realised how normal it was to her for me to be bald, as I lost all of my hair to AU when she was a year old. She has never asked me why I am different, but wants to know why others are different. This really made me grin, I never realised before just how perfect we are to our children."

You know that saying "Out of the mouths of babes" which assures us that children can be bluntly and brutally honest? Yep! At times, it can be harsh, like the moment I was asked why I had massive red dots on my face (massive acne break-out), but it also has a fabulous side - that moment when they say something which stops you in your tracks and which you know must be true and heartfelt because they don't say things any other way? That statement from Summer's daughter is just that!

For me, what this prompted me to think about most is that whilst we each judge ourselves by our own standards, we shouldn't automatically expect those same judgements from others. They will have their own thoughts and opinions (and not all of them will be nice), but I think there's a lesson in here for us all - let's challenge ourselves to look at things differently every once in a while and see if there's a way we can make everything more positive! After all, I expected everyone to stare, laugh and point at me the first time I went out without a wig, but it simply didn't happen! In fact, the worst I got was a sympathetic look, and there was nothing at all that could be classed as upsetting; in this case, it was totally my level of expectation and my own expectations and perceptions almost made me stick to hiding beneath a wig!

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald