C is for... A-Z of hairloss

I know it's been a while since my last A-Z of hairloss, but it's finally time for the letter 'C'...

Calendar: I can't let the letter 'C' go past without a little mention and plug for our 2015 calendar - great awareness and working to change opinions. Read more at www.prettybald.co.uk 

Calm: in the early days, feelings of bring 'calm' seemed few and far between and I was in a semi-agitated state most of the time. Difficult as it will be, try your best to stay calm for two reasons; first, it helps you think more rationally and second, in things some cases e.g. Alopecia, feelings of stress can exacerbate the issue.

Cancer: Possibly the most obvious one when it comes to hairloss is cancer. Whilst the disease itself does not affect the growth of the hair, treatment in the form of chemotherapy causes partial or total hairloss. As treatments improve however, the rate and finality of hairloss is diminishing and there is hope that in the future, the hair won't be affected at all. Fingers crossed!

Caps / Coverings: other words for Bandanas as covered in our 'B' post, caps and coverings can be a great go-to for keeping things hidden. Even if you are used to your hairloss and are happy to expose it, caps and coverings are a great way of keeping toasty warm, accessorising and outfit or keeping the sun off your head!

Caring: if you let them, in my experience people will be really caring about you and your hairloss. A mistake I frequently made was feeling guilty about being upset and so I kept shutting people out and bottling it up which wasn't good for me, or for those around me! People will be caring, you just have to decide to let them! 

Cause: fairly self-explanatory this one, but cause is a huge factor in any hairloss experience! I remember thinking 'but I don't understand what causes it!' A large part of your experience will centre on causes and of course then the cure. What you may have to accept is that the cause may be unclear - they can give you a label e.g. Alopecia Areata or Trichotillomania, but that doesn't necessarily mean the 'cause' will be clear. 

Challenge: Losing my hair was probably the single biggest challenge I have ever had to face, but on the plus side it's a challenge that I won! Now I am working to challenge perceptions and help others beat that challenge!

Changes: Inevitably, if you are losing your hair - via whatever means - then you will be going through some changes. From physical changes to your appearance to changes to your general health and wellbeing, to adjustments in your emotional and mental state, changes are inevitable. It is definitely worth highlighting here that not all changes are for the worse - I and many others I know have had positives come out of their hairloss and definite changes for the better! 

Charity: If you are having difficulty handling your hairloss, seek out a Charity. National charities exist to support sufferers for example Alopecia UK, Macmillan etc. who can provide advice and support and signpost to experts to give you the help you need. They also appreciate people fundraising for them if you get a chance! 😉

Cheated: This was a huge 'problem' for me and many others I know. As your hair falls out and you struggle to deal with it, many people highlight how they feel 'cheated' by their body and struggle not to feel angry with themselves. The good news is that this feeling passes and hopefully will be a temporary status rather than a permanent reality! 

Chemotherapy: one of the most common treatments for cancer, chemotherapy uses chemicals to permanently damage cancerous cells so that they can't reproduce. Unfortunately, side-effects include damage to other healthy tissues, including hair follicles, resulting in hairloss.

Children: Children is included for two reasons:

First, people often fear telling or showing children their hairloss, more so than showing an adult. Children are known for getting to the heart of things, saying it like it is and not censoring what comes out of their mouths. Somehow, that makes them scarier than adults, somehow increasing the likelihood that our fears we are less attractive, less valuable or something else entirely. We hope that their adult counterparts will be less honest and better at hiding negative feelings, leaving us intact. I can't speak about all children, but you can read about one of my experiences here...

Second, whilst hairloss is terrifying and somewhat devastating at every stage of life, but somehow, despite their resilience, it seems ten times worse when a child goes through it. It breaks my heart every time I see it, but I admire there general acceptance of it too!

Cicatricial Alopecia: the scientific name for scarring Alopecia, it includes traction Alopecia and Alopecia from any scarring. 

Cold-Cap / Scalp-Cooling / Cryotherapy: a relatively new treatment, the cold-cap is one of the aforementioned ways do reducing the likelihood of total hairloss from the scalp. It involves the patient encasing their scalp in a cooling ice-pack, reducing the size of the blood vessels and therefore the amount of chemotherapy drugs which reach the hair follicles. As a result, less hair falls out and many cancer patients are managing to keep large amounts of hair. The downsides are that it doesn't work with all chemotherapy drugs and it only works where applied, so eyelashes, eyebrows and body hair will still shed. Macmillan has more details on it here...

Comments: when you are bald or balding, comments can be expected and often unappreciated. From stating the obvious to striking up a conversation, to frankly being downright hurtful, there's not a baldie I know who has been completely without commentary! There's not much to say here - it's on a case by case basis and you'll have to handle it as best you can when it happens. Not everything will be bad though; just remember that!

Confidence: I'd love to say hairloss has no significant effects, but it's likely that it will impact your confidence in some way. It could be a little or a lot depending on your personality, support network, attitude and general attachment to your hair. You need to accept that this will happen; you are not weak, worthless, shallow or anything else negative you might think about yourself - it is completely understandable and acceptable. Work through this, deal with it your way and try to remember not to let your hairloss beat you - don't let it change who you are or what you do. I really and truly appreciate this is easier said than done, however it's something I worked hard at and now if anything, I am more, not less confident than I was before!

Corticosteroids: more commonly referred to as steroids, corticosteroids are often used in the treatment of a number of hairloss and / or auto-immune conditions. They can be taken orally, injected or applied as a topical cream or lotion and have anti-inflammatory properties. They are used to help suppress the immuno-response, thereby enabling short-term and sometimes permanent regrowth.

Cure: A natural progression from 'cause', cures are one of the primary things that people pursue, providing a focus for anxiety, mental challenges or even an end point. Cures are a good thing to understand and appreciate, but pursue with caution; sometimes the side-effects can be as bad or worse than the hairloss and many have limited or questionable results. Pursuit of them can also become an obsession so take care that this doesn't become more damaging to your psyche. Sit down with a trained expert  question what they tell you so you fully understand the implications, then give yourself time to consider everything - is it really what you want? 

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

B is for... A-Z of hairloss

Having just tried writing the title, I'm not sure it makes perfect grammatical sense, but hopefully you get the gist! As promised, I am continuing in the vein of our A-Z of hairloss and understandably opting for the letter B (it comes next apparently!). Here goes and don't forget if you think I've missed something, let me know! 

B is for...

Backwards - this is not a veiled insult to our intelligence, but actually reference to the process I went through with my hairloss. All the time, I kept thinking to myself, I'm going backwards - one step forward coming to terms with it, then two and sometimes even three back. Getting used to artfully arranging my hair to cover the patches, only to have the patches expand; making mini 'wigs' to adhere to the patches as a hair replacement, only to have the patches grow still more. Gaining a small amount of regrowth from steroid injections (which weren't worth the pain) only for that to fall out too. The list goes on and on...

It's not all bad though; yes, initially it felt like I was constantly slipping backwards, but over time, as I adjusted, this feeling became less and less frequent. and now, I am doing nothing but charging forward! I am a changed person (at least a little bit) and hopefully for the better. It hasn't all been rosy, but overall as an experience, my hairloss has been more good than bad - a feeling that I hope you get too, or at least a level of certainty that the 'backwards' feeling will pass.

Bald / Baldness - OK, I know this is an obvious one, but in the majority of cases, the ultimate outcome is some or total baldness. There are conditions, for example diffuse Alopecia, which create general thinning, and of course not all cancer patients or people with trichotillomania experience total hairloss, but baldness is a fairly good bet! This aspect was one of the worst for me - there was no hiding it and my appearance was so very different - but it has also turned out to be one of the best aspects too! Read more about my experiences here, here and here...

Bandana - another word for scarf obviously, bandanas are often an option for covering / disguising partial hairloss and as a head covering for total hairloss. This one doesn't work for me - it drives me nuts - but I know a lot of people that understandably love them too! They are low-cost, flexible, comfy, versatile and snuggly when it is cold. Many people opt to match them to outfits and there are soooo many ways you can wear then too! One added bonus; you can buy them pre-styled too, taking the hassle out of tying them yourself and providing a great alternative to hats!

Basics - Losing my hair really pushed things back to basics. I know this sounds strange, but it did this in many senses of this word. For example, I was used to my natural hair and knew how to wash it, style it, care for it; no hair = a whole new regime. Learning wig care, wig maintenance, skin care, nail care, everything that my condition has affected. I felt in many respects like I was back to being thirteen, learning and experimenting; at times it was fun, but at times it was uber frustrating too!

One other thing worth a mention is that like any 'test' that life throws at you, hairloss is very clarifying. It made me realise the friends I could count on, what was important in life, what made me happy and what I really want to achieve in life. It took me back to basics and put things in perspective and many people I know have said this too!

Beauty - I'm not sure I can do this 'B' justice with my explanation / writing. There are so many things it represents and means to so many people, but I'll give it a go...

Beauty is something that we are judged by and that we judge people by. On the one hand, there are the sayings like 'Beauty is more than skin deep' and 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder', but on the other hand, there are also adverts which tell us our long glossy hair makes us 'worth it' and that the wrinkles on our face make us less so. I, and many others that I know, really struggled to adjust to the aesthetic changes that hairloss brings; not only is it incredibly emotionally challenging, but I was terrified that I would be somehow less beautiful and therefore less valuable without my hair. In true terms you aren't; it's simply a different beautiful look, and your personality feeds in a lot too, but that doesn't change the fact you feel less beautiful along the way. As an aside, I do now feel beautiful and perhaps more so than when I had hair even - I have a boyfriend who I love and who loves me, masses of confidence and a unique look, but it took me a while to get back to 'beauty'.

Being - Hairloss can be traumatic (sorry that is probably understatement of the year) and I and many others really struggled emotionally. Sometimes it is important along the way to let yourself just 'be' - to live in the moment, accept what you are feeling and let it wash over you. Anger, grief, envy, anything. Just be!

Besties - Hairloss is hard, period! Your besties will be really important to you (as always) and there'll be a lifeline. For me, mine kept me from retreating into my shell and while I must have seemed like a total stuck record, they were there for me! Enough said!

Bitching - Bitching is something that I really worried about when losing my hair - would people judge me, and be horrible about it? As a victim of bullying growing up (not anything too extreme don't worry), I worried that I would be worth less and that I would be subject to bitching behind my back, but as far as I know, everyone has been really positive and friendly about it. No bitching in sight!

Blackheads - this is an obscure side effect to hairloss and certainly one that I have experienced. Hair grows from follicles and as it grows, it naturally pushes dead skin cells to the surface and removes dirt. Since losing my hair, commonly my hair follicles become clogged and my skin gains the appearance of hundreds of tiny blackheads, particularly across my shoulders and the top of my arms. Regular exfoliation keeps on top of them which is fine, but blackheads are definitely a new problem!

Bold - I do mean 'bold' rather than 'bald'. Going without a wig is 'bold' and some would say 'brave' too, but it is! You will get stares, and people will ask questions or offer an opinion, but if you want to do it, go for it! I switch between wig and no wig and it's entirely personal choice. If you want to, do it; if you don't, then don't. Simples!

Boyfriends - this is something that a lot of people worry about; will you get a boyfriend (if you are single), will it change the way they feel about you (if you have one), will you be needy? So, so many questions and obviously the answers will vary on a case-by-case basis, but in my experience, the right one won't care. I met my boyfriend about a month after my alopecia started and actually stopped dating him out of fear, but now we've been together almost four years, we own a house together and my hairloss didn't change a thing! He's been great about it, sees me bald ALL the time and is gorgeous! If it does change the way they think about you, then chances are they are a toss pot and aren't worth it anyway, so move on and find someone who loves you for you.

Brave - this is something that you will be called quite frequently if you are losing your hair. Whether you tell someone about it, show them, or venture out bald, people will call you brave. Some people understandably find this very reassuring and I understand why, but for me I found this TOTALLY irritating - I did not feel not brave and this statement made me feel like a fraud. Brave is rescuing someone, or standing up to someone, not feeling rubbish about yourself because your hair is falling out, particularly when you would do almost anything to change it. Looking back now, I understand why people say 'brave', because it is really difficult to know what to say and it doesn't worry me so much any more, but it did before and I felt very guilty about it! 

Breaking Point - I don't use this term lightly, but at times during my hairloss I hit what felt like rock bottom. It is certainly the lowest I have been (but perhaps not the lowest I can go) and at times felt like breaking point. No matter how awful I felt, I always got through it thanks to the love and support of my friends and family! I cannot thank them enough and remember the old cliché 'what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger'. Embrace it and see just how far you can go...

Please let me know if there is anything I have missed via Facebook, Twitter or email...

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

The A-Team; our A-Z of hairloss...

You might have seen me announce yesterday that I'm attempting to compile an A-Z of everything hairloss, in a bid to create a useful resource for you to draw on! I KNOW I won't remember everything for each letter the first time, but whenever I remember anything extra, I will pop back over to the right letter, update it, then let you know via our social media channels!

Anyway, I'm wittering away and putting off the inevitable, so here goes 'A' in our A-Z of Hairloss . Enjoy!

Adjustable - It's a shame this is the one to start with, as it is a little bit of a stretch, but hey, that's how the alphabet goes! Anyway, it's a common misconception that wigs come in only one size, but that is simply not true! A lot (particularly synthetic) will come in multiple cap sizes AND will be adjustable! This is a great feature as you can see here...

Adjustment - hairloss is a big adjustment! From changing your routines, having to think about wig care (if you wear one), changing habits and even just adjusting emotionally, it is all an adjustment which will feel difficult at first, but you'll get there in the end I promise!

Alopecia (Areata, Totalis, Universalis, Androgenetic, Traction): A common cause of hairloss, alopecia can cause partial or total hairloss from the head and body. It is an autoimmune condition and you can find out more about it here...

Alopecia - Me and my bald head...

Alopecia UK - if you are looking for support with your Alopecia, then Alopecia UK is the official UK charity who can help. Go check them out for great information, group support and anything else you need!

Alternative Hair - another word / description for wigs, 'alternative hair' is a common term and you can search online for an 'alternative hair specialist'. As well as wigs, this term also encompasses toppers, extensions, partials, and all sorts of other things too!

Anagen - Anagen is the 'growth' phase in the cycle of a hair follicle. Depending on genetics, the anagen phase will last 2-7 years for the average person. In cases of medical hairloss, the hair fails to return to the anagen phase, resulting in baldness.

Androgenic Hair - This is the technical term for body hair that develops after puberty. Its growth is affected by the Androgen hormone which means that typically men will have more androgenic hair than women. In many cases of hairloss, including both alopecia and chemotherapy hairloss, androgenic hair will also be affected, as well as scalp hair.

Angry / Anger - Unless you are becoming a #BaldHeadedBeauty by choice, it is inevitable that at some stage you will feel an overwhelming sense of anger! Whether you are angry about the 'betrayal' by your body, by the lack of support for you and your hairloss, the reaction of others, everyone will feel angry for a different reason and it is perfectly normal! You will reach a point where you need to let it go though, otherwise you risk long-term emotional problems!

Anxiety - As with anger, unless your bald look is by choice, anxiety will be a common emotion for you to experience. I certainly did - fear people would judge me or think less of me, that my wig was obvious, that my hair would never come back (although that no longer applies) and pretty much anything else you can think of! Anxiety is common, but you need to find coping mechanisms to ensure that it passes and you can handle it!

Appearance - hairloss will change your appearance. For some people, the close cropped look is a choice and for others it won't be. Either way, it will change your appearance, whether you opt for wigs to keep it concealed, or embrace being a #BaldHeadedBeauty it will change your appearance!

Artificial - Artificial can be used in two ways when it comes to hairloss. First, as another (less common) term for wigs or alternative hair, sometimes interchanged with synthetic. Second, some people say they feel 'artificial' or 'fake' or worry other people will think them so, if they opt to wear a wig! You shouldn't, this isn't a bad thing to do and you just need to remember, it is YOUR choice!

Assumption - This is most commonly a word used with alopecia; one of the things that happens to me quite frequently with my alopecia is the assumption that I have cancer, whenever I go out and about bald. Some people get offended by this, some upset and ultimately you will feel what you feel - for me though, I TRY (but don't always succeed) to embrace these assumptions, and use it as an opportunity to educate and raise awareness of my own condition!

Autoimmune - Alopecia is an autoimmune condition which means that the immune system is attacking the hair follicles and causing loss.

Awareness - Awareness is crucial when it comes to hairloss as it is so misunderstood by Doctors and in fact a lot of people generally. What awareness does is help sufferers encounter less negativity as each year goes by, not to mention helping with fundraising, research, improved care, support and many of things besides! If you feel up to it, get raising awareness - it is so important! This applies for alopecia, trichotillomania, chemotherapy hairloss and everything else too!

Awesome - some people (including me) absolutely love their hairloss, or at least grow to enjoy it! This takes time, but is something you can acheive! The reason I wanted to include this in the list is that otherwise, all the 'A' words like Anger and Anxiety are negative, and there are positives to hairloss too! Check out #100HairFreeDays for some of the reasons I have embraced my hairloss!

Awful - As with 'anger' and 'anxiety', awful is another descriptive words that many people will use about their own hairloss or somebody else's. It can be 'awful' and there were days (and still are now occasionally) when I struggled and this was the perfect word for it, but this too will pass if you want it to!

Phew! I think that is absolutely everything that I can think of, but there'll be something I've missed!

Have we missed something? Let us know via Facebook, Twitter or email...

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

Getting married this year? Fancy helping with #HairlossAwareness?

Before I start this post, I must first apologise for the lack of posts in the last couple of days! Work has been manic and whilst I was hoping to write and post a couple of blogs before the weekend, I ran out of time, then gallivanted off to enjoy a wedding in Kent! That is a blog post for another time (yes I find inspiration everywhere), but in the meantime, I have an opportunity for you...

You may or may not know this, but as well as producing a few shows themselves, major TV channels also commission and buy the rights to show programmes from independent TV Production Companies. It's why you see 'produced by' at the end of many TV programmes and it also helps the TV channels keep a rein on their budgets and plan ahead!

Anyway, a few days ago via Twitter (yep, still loving it), I received a mention from Remedy Productions; they tweeted me a picture and asked me to retweet it. See it here...

@PrettyBald Pls RT xx We're looking for beautiful #brides with #Alopecia. Email casting@remedyproductions.tv for info pic.twitter.com/0QlglC10ea

— Remedy Productions (@RemedyTV4) June 2, 2015

I'm sure many people will be hesitant at the idea of sharing their special day and intimate moments with the world! I know I would be / am! However, I want you to put that aside for a minute and think about what it could help achieve.

Alopecia, Trichotillomania, Female Pattern Baldness and every other type of hairloss affect thousands of women (and men) every single year! As well as the physical effects and changes, there's the mental ones and the emotional challenges people face everyday. One of the reasons people struggle so much is a lack of widely-available support and / or research. These 'problems' are aesthetic not life-threatening and therefore are not considered a priority for research or proper support. It is exactly why charities like Alopecia UK and The Little Princess Trust exist, but even they are underfunded and struggle to do everything that they need to.

At best this lack of awareness leaves people without access to the support and help that they need; at worst it can leave people alone and isolated with negative reactions and potentially an impacted self-esteem. One of the ways we can change that is to drive for more awareness. Awareness goes hand in hand with education and education over time will help to improve reactions, encourage additional research, raise additional funds and generally improve the lives of those who suffer with it. It's what I strive for and aspire to do and what I use many opportunities for.

Granted, you may not want to appear on TV, but if you think you are up to it, why not get in touch with them? Jen from Alopecia UK did and it made a huge difference all around the world. If you're not up for TV but think you might be ready to talk about your hairloss, there's lots of other things you can do too! How about:

• Emailing us your #hairloss story so we can share it on this blog?
• Even better, become a regular contributor keeping people updated on your progress
• Email your local newspaper / news website /radio station and ask to share your story. They love hearing real stories
• Share your story on your social media and reveal your true self to friends
• Think about fundraising for a charity, sharing regular updates about your progress
• Whatever else you can think of...

One thing I will add is that you need to do something like this when you are ready; there is no pressure to let it be known that you have a hairloss condition and you may not be ready or want to share that with anyone. That is fine and is something you have to decide for yourself - sharing helped me, but it won't help everyone and that will come down to your personal characteristics and comfort zones! 

If you are getting married this year and you feel you could be involved, do it! If not, don't worry - there will be other opportunities and we will endeavour to share them with you!

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

Joking aside... or perhaps not...

A couple of days ago, I overheard one of those terribly predictable but nonetheless funny jokes that start 'A blonde, a brunette and a redhead' and which inevitably end with a derogatory comment about blondes being stupid. I've told a few of them in my time and heard even more, but for the first time it occurred to me that these jokes exclude the fourth biggest sector of hair society - us baldies.

I started racking my brains to see if I had heard any jokes at all with reference to those of us that have alopecia, chemotherapy hairloss, trichotillomania, etc., but nope, I couldn't think of any! In fact, the only joke at all that I've heard was a truly terrible one in the comments section of a Daily Mail article about the Pretty Bald Calendar, which said:

"What do you call a group of bald people on a raft?
Beans on Toast!"

It barely makes sense, let alone being funny, but I have to be honest, it really is the only one that I can think of hearing / reading. Having puzzled out something new to think about, I did what I always do and popped onto Google; I searched "Bald Jokes" and whilst there were a lot listed, there were none I considered high-calibre, 'good' jokes and many more which offered poor, inadequate humour.

It got me thinking? Why is it that we don't have good humour relating to perhaps one of the most obvious targets on the planet? Is baldness still such a taboo that we dare not voice a joke in case of offence, let alone invent them in the first place? Have all the bald jokes through history flopped and failed to get a laugh? Perhaps it is just considered bad taste to point out a lack of follicles, whether to a balding man or woman? Or perhaps it just isn't a topic worth mentioning?

At the end of it all I am still not sure why; perhaps it is the fear of the unknown, not knowing how people will take it?

For me, I'm not sure I would take offence at a joke about my lack of hair, if made by a stranger, but I do suspect I'd probably be stony-faced and a little upset. It is not, after all, nice to be the butt of someone else's joke. That said though, my own family, and the friends who know me really well, have often made jokes about my lack of hair and my baldness, from drumming my head to stupid play-on-words about 'hair'. It is something for which I will always be grateful - teaching me that my lack of hair was not the end of the world and reminding me that it is important to laugh, no matter what life throws at you. Perhaps then, we do not need 'a blonde, a brunette, a redhead and a baldie walk into the bar', but in fact need to surround ourselves with people who know and love us enough to remind us, that hairloss really isn't so bad! You never know, in a few years time if we've managed to change societal perceptions of baldness, we'll be the proud owner of our own set of jokes that we can share with the world...

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

WANTED: Are you the next Pretty Bald Blogger?

The Pretty Bald blog is growing and we're in need of some more bloggers, case studies and real-life stories; could you be the next guest poster, interviewee or regular columnist?

At the moment we have four bloggers (Myself, Jen, Kayleigh and Danielle) and we all happen to have Alopecia! We're now looking for individuals with other types of hairloss to tell us their stories or to become a regular columnist. We're also looking for Hairloss experts to write one-off blog posts.

Got what it takes? Please email us to tell us about yourself and apply...

Want to be a regular blogger? You will:

- have something interesting and unique to say

- suffer from a short or long-term Hairloss condition; at the moment, we're not looking for female alopecians (although we're of course happy to consider you) - our followers are asking for people with chemotherapy hairloss, trichotillomania, female pattern baldness, male alopecians, male pattern baldness and other forms of hairloss. We're getting emails asking for insights to support these conditions

- be able to commit to a minimum of one blog post per month, preferably more

If you don't have hairloss, but are an expert in a specific field, we'll also be happy to consider you!

Want to be a case study / real life story?

Please send us an email with some information about you... Some pictures would be great too and we'll email you back with any additional questions we need answering. We'll then write it up and post it out on the blog!

The reason?

We're working to make Pretty Bald a unique resource that offers support and advice through real-life experiences, not just expert opinion. Through this, we hope to support others, and also work to change perceptions within society, making it easier to thrive in spite of these conditions, not just hide and hope for a cure!

The reward?
Initially, we're working to raise as much money for charity as possible, so this is a voluntary opportunity; long-term however, our bloggers will benefit from free products to review and hopefully some other exciting things too!

If you do have anything else you want to contribute or of course want to see us write about,  please let us know! There's a lot of exciting things coming up and we hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoy writing it! 

Victoria x