It's first of August and that can only mean...

...it's time to turn over that calendar page! Whoop whoop!

Pretty Bald Calendar - August 2015

As you may have spotted, this month features a somewhat seasonal picture of a summery Jacuzzi, with champagne, obviously!

In reality, this was the very first picture that was taken that day at 7am, and this was only the first glass! It was awkward, chilly, very splashy and an odd ice-breaker. In fact, I have to thank each of the girls in the tub with me for not bailing at this point and for helping me hold it together!

Miss August is the gorgeous Katie - one of the youngest on the shoot - and we'll catch up with her later in the month!

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

Neighbours; everybody needs good Neighbours...

When I initially lost my hair, my default solution was a wig; I wanted one and I wanted one now! It was all about keeping my hairloss hidden, both from myself and from other people.

Over time, that attitude changed. I came to love myself, bald head and all, and the accepting response from friends and family made that all easier. Gradually, step-by-step, I got used to going around bald. First at the Alopecia UK Liverpool Flashmob, then at a Spa with my mum; step-by-step, balder and balder (see what I did there).

What this has culminated in is a 'totally what I feel like' approach to being bald. If I'm in the mood for a wig, or it compliments my outfit, then a wig I shall wear. If it's hot or I'm relaxed or perhaps just in the mood, then I don't wear a wig.

Before now, regardless of the mood, I always took a wig with me; partly out of habit, partly out of the desire for flexibility - much the same as if I'm wearing heels, you'll always find flip flops in my bag. Over the last few months, I have entered a new phase; where before I left the house on a bald day with a wig tucked in my bag, now I've taken to leaving without one at all, in part to save the condition of my wigs.

For me, meeting people bald falls into one of two categories:

• Category A is meeting people in a fixed capacity for a period of time; I have the opportunity to explain to people, answer questions, stem querying looks and correct inaccuracies. For me, this is part of the educational and awareness approach I take to my hairloss and leaves people clear on the causes of it.
• Category B represents situations where a meeting is transient or fleeting. The parcel delivery man at the door, someone who walks past me, other spa users - anyone I am unlikely to see ever again.

Over the last couple of months as my confidence has grown and I've left the house with no wig at all, I've come to the realisation that my neighbours fit into neither of these categories. I am on talking terms with my neighbours and they are actually really lovely, but at the same time, we have passing chats about recycling, parking and other neighbourly pursuits, not the in-depth discussions shared with friends! At this stage, not one of my neighbours has seen me bald; not because I covertly leave the house under cover and refuse to expose my head, but because as I've been leaving the house without a wig on, they just haven't been there! 

This morning, I looked like a madwoman; I left the house without a wig, hunched to avoid the rain, juggling all manner of bits and bobs in my hands and most oddly with a piece of toast and peanut butter shoved unceremoniously between my lips that I was trying to eat without hands. I leave my driveway and step onto the pavement not really concentrating and nearly bump into a smart young man in a suit, clutching an umbrella. He immediately apologises and I try to make a muffled apology through my slice of toast. Naturally, he does a double-take, although at the toast or the baldness I am not sure, his eyes lower and he hurries past me, clearly uncomfortable. I'm going to go with the baldness here.

To be honest, I'm not bothered, but what it has done is cause some of my original guilt to resurface. This man does not fit into Category A where I have dutifully explained my condition, but nor does he fit into Category B and I'll never see him again. Nope, instead I am at the centre of a situation where my neighbour from a few doors down, probably now thinks I have cancer, or potentially just thinks I am a mad-bald woman! Either way, it isn't an ideal solution and short of hunting him down and knocking on the door, it's a situation I am stuck with. In fact, highlighting the issue and trying to force a discussion could very much make it worse, so now it's just a situation I am stuck with! I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough though!

Victoria x 

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

Don't forget Factor 30 SPF sun cream...

I first appreciated the need for a high-factor sun cream last year during the photo shoot for the Pretty Bald Calendar, as did every other lady on the shoot for that matter! We're all pretty intelligent, we all bought sun cream with us, yet in the excitement and nerves of being nude, outside in the middle of June, we all forgot to apply any at all! A major error on a warm summer day in June! The result? A series of heavily burned, red scalps, similar in colour to a tomato, later to peel in large patches as we all lamented our lack of caution! 

I know I'm stating the obvious, but the more regular sun-exposure your skin gets, the more its own Melanin protection kicks in, lightly tanning the skin and preventing serious burns. As you'd expect, your scalp, which has likely spent many years covered in a thick mop of hair, it is a little more sensitive than most, particularly if you opt for regular wig wear too! Obviously the longer you've been without hair and the more it sees small doses of the sun, the less sensitive it becomes, but that does not mean it'll ever have the tolerance of the rest of your skin.

What this means is a need to select and regularly apply a sun cream with a good SPF. Ideally you should buy a new one each year to ensure it is still functional and useable and you should use it on your face, scalp and body. In fact, if your hairloss is the result of either Alopecia or Chemotherapy, then the body's own abilities to protect itself will be diminished and you are likely to need a higher factor than before, plus to apply it more regularly. Your body's natural defences will change and in many cases lessen, so the need for Factor 30 on your whole body will be higher.

One final point to make as I sit here in the garden enjoying the gorgeous weather, you can burn your scalp through wigs; granted it isn't significantly likely, but it does happen. It will of course depend on the design of the cap, but thin, flexible and uber-natural lace can be incredibly thin and if your parting used to burn before you lost your hair, it is likely to burn through lace too! 

I'm not trying to patronise you with this post; merely encouraging you to learn from my own lesson - sunburn on the scalp is the single most painful sun damage I've done and even sleeping on a pillow is excruciating! 

Happy sunbathing!

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

Hairloss Side Effects: Blackheads...

This is not something I would EVER have expected to deal with when I was first losing my hair, but body blackheads have become a reality for me and a few others I know...

I've always had oily skin and blackheads on my face have been a constant battle! They've been kept in check though by a good cleansing routine and a facial once in a while, keeping my skin relatively clear. Roll forward to Alopecia however and they've spread, not because of oily skin, simply because of extra opportunity. In fact, as part of my Alopecia, my immune system also attacks and affects my skin and nails, and has dried my skin right out, leaving me frantically moisturising rather than trying to neutralise excess oil!

Anyway, as normal I digress - back to the kind of gross topic of my blackheads! (Sorry folks)...

At the top of my arms, my skin is no longer silky smooth as it should be, but instead is rough to the touch with lots of little tiny blackheads putting in an appearance. When I first noticed this, a few months after my body hair fell out, I was wearing a long, curly, synthetic wig; I assumed that the synthetic fibres were retaining dirt and grease and this was blocking the pores in my skin. I exfoliated regularly which helped stay on top of them and I took to washing my wigs more regularly. It didn't help. A switch to a short wig (my favourite bob) which doesn't even skim my shoulders and it soon put paid to that theory.

That of course triggered some research and what I found was really interesting; contrary to my belief that these were normal blackheads, they weren't. Where normal blackheads are a result of high-levels of sebaceous excretion which block the pores, the 'blackheads' on my arms are in fact blocked hair follicles. Normally, the hair shaft grows from the follicle and as it does, the sebaceous glands produce a lubricant, helping the hair to grow out; as no hair grows anymore, the dirt and debris is not pushed out of the follicle and so it blocks, leaving a small blackhead and a rough texture.

Now, it isn't all bad though, a good pair of exfoliating gloves gets rid of the problem fairly quick, certainly far quicker than an actual blackhead. It's the exact reason that you need to regularly scrub or at least cleanse your body, as well as your bare scalp, helping ensure you're doing the work that your hair would normally do!

Anyone else have this problem?

Not to be too gross, but I did try to take a picture to show you what I mean (I'll be exfoliating tomorrow), but they're way too tiny to see on a camera. I guess that does put things in perspective and highlight how little effect they actually have - it's more that the rough texture annoys me and seeing them when I peer ultra closely!

That's it for now!

Victoria x

Packing / Suitcases

Once upon a time, I used to be a terrible packer, squeezing in everything I could in fear that I would forget something! Then I grew up and become far more blasé, turning into a last minute, late packer with a more casual 'oh well' attitude to the idea of forgetting something - I can always buy it nearby...

Along came alopecia and my packing style changed again; granted, I'm still last minute and I still pack fairly light in terms of quantity of clothes, yet somehow, the average size of my suitcase has doubled! Why I hear you ask? Simply because of my wigs!

As you've probably gathered by now, my wigs are an accessory rather than a necessity, something to enhance my look or outfit, rather than something I NEED to wear. Each person will be different here, but one thing is certain - whatever the reason for wearing wigs, I won't go on holiday without them, in just the same way I won't leave without flip flops, sunglasses or handbags. I want the flexibility of wearing a long sundress with a curly wig, then a pair or shorts and strappy top with a bob. What's more, there's a sun protection angle too - without hair, only kiddie's hats are a good fit on my head (and tend to have some off-putting childish design or feature) leaving me with a very real need for wigs in the sun! Yes, my scalp does get some sun exposure, but it's sensitive too, so can't handle too much!

Anyway, back to the suitcase - the addition of a protective box, along with a portable wig stand, tangle tamer, several wigs and all the associated paraphernalia, and my suitcase has gone from small and neat to big and bulky. My boyfriend moans about it - I look like the woman that can't pack light - I crash it into everything, and it takes up just that bit more space in the boot! It also means I'm lugging a big bag around alongside other people's neat ones (just like at the hen party) and I find it pretty annoying!

In the grand scheme of things, nothing is going to change this - I've bought the smallest items I can. pack them as neatly as possible, but short of finding a replacement / suitable hat and making a huge decision to spend an entire holiday bald, there's not much choice left!

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

Handling a hen party...

First, I need to thank you for your patience and apologise for being so absent! I've had some lovely emails while I've been away and have enjoyed what people have shared!

As you may have seen in my 'I'll be back soon' post, I've been to all four corners of the UK and have been doing all sorts of things! One of those was a hen party for a lovely lady who I dub my 'Sister' although we aren't related and who I will be a bridesmaid for later this year. As often happens when you don't live close together, I know very few (actually just two) of her friends and so I was embarking on a weekend away with lots of ladies I don't know, haven't met and won't see again until the wedding.

Like me, my friend Meg is very open and so when I appeared in Cosmopolitan, she proudly flashed it around, showing her friends and telling them about me! I was very touched, but what it did mean was that they had an expectation of me, and I had none about them. For the second time this year, I got into my car, hopped onto the M5 motorway and aimed towards Alton Towers. Alas, a car fire caused huge delays and I arrived hours after everyone else, making it even more daunting walking into the group.

Everyone was fabulously friendly and I was rocking one of my favourite wigs so my confidence was fine; I blended with the group, spent a lovely day in the park and then headed back to the 'Enchanted Woodland' house we'd rented (which are beautiful if you get the chance to try one), including a private deck and hot tub. Despite my general lack of body hair - super smooth legs for example - this was the bit I was dreading. As you know, I'm not unhappy with being bald, but what I am conscious of is making other people uncomfortable when I don't need to. For me, a wig isn't about hiding something, but it is about being considerate and not forcing myself and my situation on those who didn't ask for it! So, back to the hot tub - a decision between a wet wig and going bald in front of a group of girls I've only just met! That decided it - I won't make others feel uncomfortable, so I'm into the bikini and into the hot tub, wig and all.

Meg comes out, takes one look at me and says 'Get. It. Off'. Not that she was applying pressure - it was caring actually - but I was quick to explain I didn't want other people to be uncomfortable. Cue the silence and some odd looks as if the ladies had no idea what I was talking about or worrying about for that matter.

As you might have gathered from this blog, I'm not exactly shy, so for me, this was pretty reserved. I took one look at the faces and in that minute I knew - I was being an idiot and making it more not less uncomfortable by being so awkward! Off came the wig onto the deck and then I relaxed - a hot tub, some fabulous girls and the ability to be myself.

From that point of the evening on, I minced around the house with no wig on and they didn't blink! It was liberating and was great to know that most people couldn't care less - genuinely they don't give it a second thought. How fabulous!

Before now, my three main 'types' of experience of being bald have been:

1. Being amongst family, friends and colleagues that know and like / love me, where a lack of hair changes nothing
2. Being bald with other baldies, in public or in private where I'm not 'the odd one out' so it's a moot point
3. Being bald on my own in situations where I neither know nor worry about their thoughts or feelings because frankly, I'm hardly likely to see them again!

For me, this hen party was a first - people I don't know, but also don't want to upset and most importantly will see again in the not too distant future! A potent combination where I was truly keen to do the 'right' or 'best' thing for the scenario! Stupid really and I realise that I had unfairly judged and negatively assumed wrong about this lovely group of ladies!

I guess the moral to this story is easy - we spend too much time worrying about others and actually, it makes us act differently to the way we should or really want to. At every stage, people have suprised me and actually I should know by now just to be myself!

As I reread this before posting, there is one thing that strikes me - despite my love of being bald and my confidence in my own looks, I do still care about other people and worry about what they think and how I make them feel. Something more for me to ponder at some stage - what is the right balance?!

A not too great picture of me in the hot tub!

Hope you enjoyed my first post in a while! I should stay on track now and be back filling your feeds and inboxes on a regular basis!

Big love and thank you!

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

Different experiences

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald -- My Twitter: @baldguyproblemz 

Hi, it's the 1st of the month so here is my blog... If you haven't read it already, my story can be found here: http://prettybaldonline.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/real-life-male-alopecia-story-meet-ben.html 

I have already talked about my opinion of alopecia, and this time I wanted to talk about the different experiences people can have with their alopecia... Although I do think I have come to the conclusion that the experience is pretty similar but there are different stages of the journey.

Pain --> Learning --> Strength

That's my experience with alopecia in a nutshell.

Pain
Of course it was painful, it was probably the most difficult thing I have had to deal with in my life.

Learning
The lesson I learnt was that with hair or without hair, it didn't change who I was, I found I didn't need hair to have a good time.

Strength
This is my latest stage; this journey has helped me become stronger as a person and I genuinely think that it will help me with any hardship in the future... And strangely, I think it has helped build my confidence.

I do acknowledge that everyone's experience with alopecia will be completely different and I wanted to see how it differed. I did a little research into others' experience's of Alopecia; I went onto a Facebook group that I am a member of 'Alopecia Areata' (we are about 5000 strong now) and posed this question:

'If you could describe your experience with alopecia in a word or phrase, what would it be?'

I received well over 100 responses and my findings were quite interesting... Some results were as expected and some were very encouraging.

Of course words like 'depressing', 'pain', 'stress', 'scary' and 'sad' topped the list with 27 in total, this is what is exactly what I expected... However, promisingly, 35 responses were extremely positive and included words like; 'freedom', 'gift', 'strengthening', 'loving self', 'learning', 'empowering' and others. I was extremely pleased to see so many people see it in a positive light!! Additionally, it was nice to see so many people enter funny answers which really demonstrates the good humour and comfortableness with their condition, my favourites included 'suddenly smooth' and 'bad hair year'.

After asking this question and seeing the answer 'a gift' from a lady called Rachel, I asked her more about what she meant... Her story was truly inspiring, she described her alopecia as a 'cataclysm to redefine myself and become a more authentic version of me, my best self'... She has learnt to love herself and believes that alopecia has improved her life; she is genuinely thankful for her alopecia. This may seem odd to some of you but I think this is the last phase of everyone's journey through alopecia... 

I don't feel like I have reached this stage as I still struggle with it and have only been suffering fully for just over a year. It seems pretty far away to be honest, I cannot imagine myself rather having alopecia than not... Rachel says she would not change anything which is vastly admirable, because if I had three wishes... Having my hair back would definitely be one of them! However, I do acknowledge that alopecia has strengthened me, I still think I have a long way to go as I haven't truly accepted it yet. I still look at myself and wish for improvement but I do think this will gradually go away, soon I hope.

Personally, at the moment, I feel inadequate and to be honest a little self pitiful because I am really concerned that no one will find my attractive. When I say this to people, they tell me not to be silly but it is a genuine concern of mine that I just look too weird to find attractive. I am not looking for a relationship but still, it does upset me. 

I do not like to feel sad about it, I feel guilty for doing so... I tell myself others have it worse, which can be useful but it is important to remember that we are allowed to feel sorry for ourselves... Saying you can't be sad because others have it worse is like saying 'you can't be happy because other people have it better'. Which makes no sense!! 

I would like to finish as usual by saying alopecia doesn't define you, which I know is true but I have to be honest and say that I am struggling at the moment. On the bright sight, I have come a long way and bumps are to be expected. I do think that eventually, I will come to fully accept it and love myself; Rachel's story has been very encouraging in that it helps provide a promising future.

BP

B is for... A-Z of hairloss

Having just tried writing the title, I'm not sure it makes perfect grammatical sense, but hopefully you get the gist! As promised, I am continuing in the vein of our A-Z of hairloss and understandably opting for the letter B (it comes next apparently!). Here goes and don't forget if you think I've missed something, let me know! 

B is for...

Backwards - this is not a veiled insult to our intelligence, but actually reference to the process I went through with my hairloss. All the time, I kept thinking to myself, I'm going backwards - one step forward coming to terms with it, then two and sometimes even three back. Getting used to artfully arranging my hair to cover the patches, only to have the patches expand; making mini 'wigs' to adhere to the patches as a hair replacement, only to have the patches grow still more. Gaining a small amount of regrowth from steroid injections (which weren't worth the pain) only for that to fall out too. The list goes on and on...

It's not all bad though; yes, initially it felt like I was constantly slipping backwards, but over time, as I adjusted, this feeling became less and less frequent. and now, I am doing nothing but charging forward! I am a changed person (at least a little bit) and hopefully for the better. It hasn't all been rosy, but overall as an experience, my hairloss has been more good than bad - a feeling that I hope you get too, or at least a level of certainty that the 'backwards' feeling will pass.

Bald / Baldness - OK, I know this is an obvious one, but in the majority of cases, the ultimate outcome is some or total baldness. There are conditions, for example diffuse Alopecia, which create general thinning, and of course not all cancer patients or people with trichotillomania experience total hairloss, but baldness is a fairly good bet! This aspect was one of the worst for me - there was no hiding it and my appearance was so very different - but it has also turned out to be one of the best aspects too! Read more about my experiences here, here and here...

Bandana - another word for scarf obviously, bandanas are often an option for covering / disguising partial hairloss and as a head covering for total hairloss. This one doesn't work for me - it drives me nuts - but I know a lot of people that understandably love them too! They are low-cost, flexible, comfy, versatile and snuggly when it is cold. Many people opt to match them to outfits and there are soooo many ways you can wear then too! One added bonus; you can buy them pre-styled too, taking the hassle out of tying them yourself and providing a great alternative to hats!

Basics - Losing my hair really pushed things back to basics. I know this sounds strange, but it did this in many senses of this word. For example, I was used to my natural hair and knew how to wash it, style it, care for it; no hair = a whole new regime. Learning wig care, wig maintenance, skin care, nail care, everything that my condition has affected. I felt in many respects like I was back to being thirteen, learning and experimenting; at times it was fun, but at times it was uber frustrating too!

One other thing worth a mention is that like any 'test' that life throws at you, hairloss is very clarifying. It made me realise the friends I could count on, what was important in life, what made me happy and what I really want to achieve in life. It took me back to basics and put things in perspective and many people I know have said this too!

Beauty - I'm not sure I can do this 'B' justice with my explanation / writing. There are so many things it represents and means to so many people, but I'll give it a go...

Beauty is something that we are judged by and that we judge people by. On the one hand, there are the sayings like 'Beauty is more than skin deep' and 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder', but on the other hand, there are also adverts which tell us our long glossy hair makes us 'worth it' and that the wrinkles on our face make us less so. I, and many others that I know, really struggled to adjust to the aesthetic changes that hairloss brings; not only is it incredibly emotionally challenging, but I was terrified that I would be somehow less beautiful and therefore less valuable without my hair. In true terms you aren't; it's simply a different beautiful look, and your personality feeds in a lot too, but that doesn't change the fact you feel less beautiful along the way. As an aside, I do now feel beautiful and perhaps more so than when I had hair even - I have a boyfriend who I love and who loves me, masses of confidence and a unique look, but it took me a while to get back to 'beauty'.

Being - Hairloss can be traumatic (sorry that is probably understatement of the year) and I and many others really struggled emotionally. Sometimes it is important along the way to let yourself just 'be' - to live in the moment, accept what you are feeling and let it wash over you. Anger, grief, envy, anything. Just be!

Besties - Hairloss is hard, period! Your besties will be really important to you (as always) and there'll be a lifeline. For me, mine kept me from retreating into my shell and while I must have seemed like a total stuck record, they were there for me! Enough said!

Bitching - Bitching is something that I really worried about when losing my hair - would people judge me, and be horrible about it? As a victim of bullying growing up (not anything too extreme don't worry), I worried that I would be worth less and that I would be subject to bitching behind my back, but as far as I know, everyone has been really positive and friendly about it. No bitching in sight!

Blackheads - this is an obscure side effect to hairloss and certainly one that I have experienced. Hair grows from follicles and as it grows, it naturally pushes dead skin cells to the surface and removes dirt. Since losing my hair, commonly my hair follicles become clogged and my skin gains the appearance of hundreds of tiny blackheads, particularly across my shoulders and the top of my arms. Regular exfoliation keeps on top of them which is fine, but blackheads are definitely a new problem!

Bold - I do mean 'bold' rather than 'bald'. Going without a wig is 'bold' and some would say 'brave' too, but it is! You will get stares, and people will ask questions or offer an opinion, but if you want to do it, go for it! I switch between wig and no wig and it's entirely personal choice. If you want to, do it; if you don't, then don't. Simples!

Boyfriends - this is something that a lot of people worry about; will you get a boyfriend (if you are single), will it change the way they feel about you (if you have one), will you be needy? So, so many questions and obviously the answers will vary on a case-by-case basis, but in my experience, the right one won't care. I met my boyfriend about a month after my alopecia started and actually stopped dating him out of fear, but now we've been together almost four years, we own a house together and my hairloss didn't change a thing! He's been great about it, sees me bald ALL the time and is gorgeous! If it does change the way they think about you, then chances are they are a toss pot and aren't worth it anyway, so move on and find someone who loves you for you.

Brave - this is something that you will be called quite frequently if you are losing your hair. Whether you tell someone about it, show them, or venture out bald, people will call you brave. Some people understandably find this very reassuring and I understand why, but for me I found this TOTALLY irritating - I did not feel not brave and this statement made me feel like a fraud. Brave is rescuing someone, or standing up to someone, not feeling rubbish about yourself because your hair is falling out, particularly when you would do almost anything to change it. Looking back now, I understand why people say 'brave', because it is really difficult to know what to say and it doesn't worry me so much any more, but it did before and I felt very guilty about it! 

Breaking Point - I don't use this term lightly, but at times during my hairloss I hit what felt like rock bottom. It is certainly the lowest I have been (but perhaps not the lowest I can go) and at times felt like breaking point. No matter how awful I felt, I always got through it thanks to the love and support of my friends and family! I cannot thank them enough and remember the old cliché 'what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger'. Embrace it and see just how far you can go...

Please let me know if there is anything I have missed via Facebook, Twitter or email...

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

The A-Team; our A-Z of hairloss...

You might have seen me announce yesterday that I'm attempting to compile an A-Z of everything hairloss, in a bid to create a useful resource for you to draw on! I KNOW I won't remember everything for each letter the first time, but whenever I remember anything extra, I will pop back over to the right letter, update it, then let you know via our social media channels!

Anyway, I'm wittering away and putting off the inevitable, so here goes 'A' in our A-Z of Hairloss . Enjoy!

Adjustable - It's a shame this is the one to start with, as it is a little bit of a stretch, but hey, that's how the alphabet goes! Anyway, it's a common misconception that wigs come in only one size, but that is simply not true! A lot (particularly synthetic) will come in multiple cap sizes AND will be adjustable! This is a great feature as you can see here...

Adjustment - hairloss is a big adjustment! From changing your routines, having to think about wig care (if you wear one), changing habits and even just adjusting emotionally, it is all an adjustment which will feel difficult at first, but you'll get there in the end I promise!

Alopecia (Areata, Totalis, Universalis, Androgenetic, Traction): A common cause of hairloss, alopecia can cause partial or total hairloss from the head and body. It is an autoimmune condition and you can find out more about it here...

Alopecia - Me and my bald head...

Alopecia UK - if you are looking for support with your Alopecia, then Alopecia UK is the official UK charity who can help. Go check them out for great information, group support and anything else you need!

Alternative Hair - another word / description for wigs, 'alternative hair' is a common term and you can search online for an 'alternative hair specialist'. As well as wigs, this term also encompasses toppers, extensions, partials, and all sorts of other things too!

Anagen - Anagen is the 'growth' phase in the cycle of a hair follicle. Depending on genetics, the anagen phase will last 2-7 years for the average person. In cases of medical hairloss, the hair fails to return to the anagen phase, resulting in baldness.

Androgenic Hair - This is the technical term for body hair that develops after puberty. Its growth is affected by the Androgen hormone which means that typically men will have more androgenic hair than women. In many cases of hairloss, including both alopecia and chemotherapy hairloss, androgenic hair will also be affected, as well as scalp hair.

Angry / Anger - Unless you are becoming a #BaldHeadedBeauty by choice, it is inevitable that at some stage you will feel an overwhelming sense of anger! Whether you are angry about the 'betrayal' by your body, by the lack of support for you and your hairloss, the reaction of others, everyone will feel angry for a different reason and it is perfectly normal! You will reach a point where you need to let it go though, otherwise you risk long-term emotional problems!

Anxiety - As with anger, unless your bald look is by choice, anxiety will be a common emotion for you to experience. I certainly did - fear people would judge me or think less of me, that my wig was obvious, that my hair would never come back (although that no longer applies) and pretty much anything else you can think of! Anxiety is common, but you need to find coping mechanisms to ensure that it passes and you can handle it!

Appearance - hairloss will change your appearance. For some people, the close cropped look is a choice and for others it won't be. Either way, it will change your appearance, whether you opt for wigs to keep it concealed, or embrace being a #BaldHeadedBeauty it will change your appearance!

Artificial - Artificial can be used in two ways when it comes to hairloss. First, as another (less common) term for wigs or alternative hair, sometimes interchanged with synthetic. Second, some people say they feel 'artificial' or 'fake' or worry other people will think them so, if they opt to wear a wig! You shouldn't, this isn't a bad thing to do and you just need to remember, it is YOUR choice!

Assumption - This is most commonly a word used with alopecia; one of the things that happens to me quite frequently with my alopecia is the assumption that I have cancer, whenever I go out and about bald. Some people get offended by this, some upset and ultimately you will feel what you feel - for me though, I TRY (but don't always succeed) to embrace these assumptions, and use it as an opportunity to educate and raise awareness of my own condition!

Autoimmune - Alopecia is an autoimmune condition which means that the immune system is attacking the hair follicles and causing loss.

Awareness - Awareness is crucial when it comes to hairloss as it is so misunderstood by Doctors and in fact a lot of people generally. What awareness does is help sufferers encounter less negativity as each year goes by, not to mention helping with fundraising, research, improved care, support and many of things besides! If you feel up to it, get raising awareness - it is so important! This applies for alopecia, trichotillomania, chemotherapy hairloss and everything else too!

Awesome - some people (including me) absolutely love their hairloss, or at least grow to enjoy it! This takes time, but is something you can acheive! The reason I wanted to include this in the list is that otherwise, all the 'A' words like Anger and Anxiety are negative, and there are positives to hairloss too! Check out #100HairFreeDays for some of the reasons I have embraced my hairloss!

Awful - As with 'anger' and 'anxiety', awful is another descriptive words that many people will use about their own hairloss or somebody else's. It can be 'awful' and there were days (and still are now occasionally) when I struggled and this was the perfect word for it, but this too will pass if you want it to!

Phew! I think that is absolutely everything that I can think of, but there'll be something I've missed!

Have we missed something? Let us know via Facebook, Twitter or email...

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

My view on alopecia

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald My twitter: @baldguyproblemz

Hi I'm Ben and this is my first blog!! Victoria has posted my story which you can find here if you haven't already seen it: http://prettybaldonline.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/real-life-male-alopecia-story-meet-ben.html

Alopecia...

It doesn't sound particularly appealing does it?

That's because its not, there's not many people in the world who would voluntarily get rid of all their hair. And I have to say it's definitely the most difficult thing I have had to overcome in my life. Although I have come to terms with it and am much better with coping with it than I used to, I still wish everyday that my hair would come back.

It's probably not surprising and I'm sure there's many of you who feel the same way. But genuinely, I think about it everyday and wish it wasn't the case. I look at myself in the mirror and think 'eww'. I think 'how could someone find this attractive?'. And then I tell myself, 'shut up, what's the point in worrying about it, it is not that bad'. Hmm, perhaps that's a good or bad way to look at it, you can make a judgement on that.

'It's not that bad'... I think telling yourself this can either be seen as a good coping strategy or a misconception. On the one hand, it helps in being more positive and makes you more comfortable with your alopecia. But on the other, it can downplay what in reality, is a huge deal. I am not saying that it should be all consuming but just, it has the capacity to be. Sure you can say 'at least my condition is not life threatening' (quoting myself there) and although that's true and something you should be thankful for, it does not bring your hair back.

Personally, I think what takes the biggest toll, psychologically, is the fact that alopecia leaves you feeling helpless... It leaves you feeling that resistance is futile and it leaves you feeling that there's no hope for your follicles. The shear nature of something that's out of one's control has always been frightening, this is no different when it comes to alopecia, as it is a problem you cannot escape... It is literally right on top of you.

This 'problem' you cannot shake can often make you feel alone, it might make you feel like you are fighting an entire army on your own. However, we are not alone and this is something I have realised fairly recently and it has definitely contributed to my mental improvement recently. Realising that there are others like you, fighting the same fight, oddly, makes you feel better. It is always just nice to have someone or some people who understand how you feel and its something that people that don't suffer from can struggle with. It is nice to know that there are others, and since I have found a wider community of alopecians, I have felt much more comfortable.

There may be many of us but perhaps not as many as you expect... According to the NHS, there are 1 in 1000 people who suffer from some type Alopecia in the UK... Which means there are roughly 60,000 people in total who have either alopecia areata, totalis or universalis. Which sounds like a huge number but in reality that is 0.001% of the UK's population. Weirdly, this makes me feel better as it makes me feel very special. Furthermore, 1 in 200,000 people have my type of alopecia (universalis)... Which if you do the maths works out to 35,500 people IN THE WORLD that have the same condition as me (you could not fill most big sports stadiums with that amount of people)... Thats such a small amount of out of 7 billion; you would need 2.5X that amount of people to fill Wembley stadium!!

Apologies for the stats and football stadium comparisons but thats how my mind works!! The point is, that if you have alopecia, you should feel special because it makes you even more unique as a person. As I said in 'my story', it is what makes you, you. Having this condition builds up so much character and inner strength, that it will equip you to overcome any adversity that you will confront in the future; in this sense, view it as a strength!!

Lastly, I would like to mention my personal, most used coping strategy to my alopecia. I am always the first person to make a joke about it (rightly so), I do realise that occasionally that they are misplaced and/or not funny but making comments about it makes me feel more comfortable; I guess it really comes down to the fact that I think everyone else is thinking it (which they probably aren't) and that I have to say it to avoid others thinking it without my knowledge- I want to be in control of when people think about it I guess. That is something I've just figured out while writing this, its just a way of normalising alopecia for me. I do worry however, that people think I mention it too much and think I am doing it for attention when in reality it's my way of dealing with it!

All in all, to summarise my opinion on alopecia; I think it is unfair because no one deserves to feel like they are helpless against their own body. However, I do think it is important to think positively and remember that in the long wrong this condition will benefit you in terms of your character... I mean who knows, because of the fact that evolution occurs through natural selection of random genetic mutations, we could be the next step in human evolution; this mutation in our genes may be advantageous in the near future! I digress, I think it is important to leave you with my motto on the subject as you are so much more than your hair (or lack of):

Alopecia doesn't define you, you define alopecia

#100HairFreeDays Part Eight - all the ones that you've emailed in to us!

So if you've missed us doing #100HairFreeDays for the last 49 days, you've either just joined our readership, or you must be unobservant! This week, despite having more of my own reasons to share with you, I'm going to share some of my faves from the ones you've emailed in to me!

• When you take off a static jumper, your hair isn't Frizzy! #NoFrizz
• No trimming of stray nose or ear hairs that women loathe! (For men that is)
• Was out in the garden battling with a shrub and no hair means no twigs stuck in it!
• No stubbly hairs sticking through your tights when you KNOW you left it too long, even for winter!
• My baby is at the stage of throwing her food around! No stray banana mush in my hair!
• If there's a hair in the food, I know it's DEFINITELY not mine!
• When your other half runs his hand up your leg, you know they're silky smooth!

Thanks for all the suggestions guys! If anyone has any more, tweet us @PrettyBald or email us!

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

#100HairFreeDays Chapter Seven - handing over the reins to @Kay89leigh

After launching #100HairFreeDays, you might have spotted us asking others to contribute! We've already had a few in (which are coming up next week), but this week, I HAD to hand over the reins to fellow Pretty Bald blogger Kayleigh, who came storming in with loads more! Here's just a handful of her suggestions!

• No need to worry about shaving before THAT third date! ;-)
• Never having to worry about hairy legs in your gym shorts
• Never having to worry whether your pony tail is sleek enough
• Humid day? Who cares! #FrizzFree
• Showers are MUCH quicker
• Your other half shows off to their friends about how quick you can get ready for date night!
• You never have to worry about stray hairs while on the beach! #BikiniReady

She doesn't stop there, but we'll share her other reasons in amongst some more of mine and some of yours!

Victoria / Kayleigh x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

#100HairFreeDays Week 6 - we're getting there!

We're getting there folks! This week's #100HairFreeDays challenge means we're almost halfway there! Let's hope we can make a full 100...

• doesn't get in your face when you are playing sport / running
• provides a comedy act when your wig gets caught on a tree. #TrueStory, but you have to laugh!
• makes you more aerodynamic which will shave a half second off your winning swim time
• your hair doesn't get stuck to your lip gloss
• no more hair washing every other day - once a month will do!
• has made me a more patient, understanding and compassionate person
• means I have a whole new set of dad-style jokes that only I can crack!

Don't forget, if you want to let us know the reasons you love your bald head, please email us or Tweet Us!

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

Look mummy, she has hair...!

It's known that kids have little or no filter when it comes to speaking their mind, and the younger they are, the worse that can get. However, it's not always a bad thing and whilst their honesty can sometimes be an embarrassment to parents and recipients alike, this refreshing honesty usually isn't malicious and can have some surprising side effects too.

During my stay at the Grange Holburn Hotel, I ventured into the health facilities, making the most of complimentary access to a steam room and sauna. As usual, I wandered around without my wig, and felt perfectly comfortable in the relatively calm and quiet environment. Whilst there, a little boy and his mum hopped into the pool, making the most of their membership during the half-term days. I relaxed, they played and then I coincidentally found myself in the changing room at the same time as three-year-old Arthur and his mum Victoria.

As I dressed, I inevitably reached the final part of my outfit and swiped my favourite wig off the bench. I aligned it in my hands and then tipped my head forward, pulling the elasticated band down over my scalp. As I reverted upright, I turned in time to see Arthur looking at me intently before turning to his mum and saying "Look Mummy, now she has hair!". It took me a second, I blinked and then in the moments that followed I couldn't help but guffaw with laughter. My lack of hair hadn't phased this very cute little boy, nor had the fact that I opted to wear a wig, but instead this three-year-old was fascinated with the seemingly magic trick of growing my hair in ten seconds. I checked with his mum if we could speak and then bent down to chat to this fascinated little boy. 'It's a wig' I said. 'Why?' he asked. 'I have a condition called Alopecia; one day I woke up and my body decided I'd look better without hair so it all disappeared.' 'Oh' he said; 'I like that'.

I then proceeded to chat to his mum (another Victoria) who was making the most of the electricity / running water as her own house was currently cut off by the fire in Holburn. As we chatted, Arthur interrupted again, an intense and irresistible look on his face as he said "You should have two" referring to my wigs. "I do", I said. "In fact I have lots". "What colour are they?" he demanded. "All brown", I replied. "That's what suits me best". Arthur fell silent for a few more seconds, then looked at me intently "I like all the colours" he said "you should have them all."

For me, this was an absolutely wonderful exchange and once again reinforced the fact that negative judgements are more likely to come from adults than kids. In my experience, kids are more readily willing to take things at face value, and accept things just the way they are, adding their own innocent and touching insights if you'll simply give them a chance. The other slightly bitter sweet realisation this gave me is just how strong an influence parents have over children as they grow, and that until adults learn to accept and embrace difference, we're likely to continue seeing generations or young individuals that are unkind and unfair.

Still, for now, Arthur offered me a moment or two of reflection and a moment or two more of laughs and for that I'm grateful to him and his mum. Not having any hair didn't make me 'different' and therefore unwelcome in his eyes, just another person to have a conversation with! Perfect

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

#100HairFreeDays Part Five - a full month gone and we're a third of theway through!

For part five of #100HairFreeDays, I was sat on the sofa with my mum, chatting about my hairloss journey and coming up with ideas! There's still lots of good reasons to come, but they're stretching my brain to remember them all!

• A personal experience one for me with alopecia was appreciating that I wasn't ill with something more life-threatening!
• No disgusting hairballs in the sink plughole! You know the ones I mean!
• On the same theme, no stray hairs clinging to the carpet, or wrapped round the hoover head, or anywhere else really
• Saves me 20 minutes a day that would otherwise be spent blow-drying hair
• and less blow-drying means less electricity - in fact now I don't even own a hairdryer
• Holding a friend's baby, there's no hair for them to pull! Very relevant when they're learning to grip!
• no more sweaty betty hair at the gym - actually it's the sign of a good workout, BUT the stringy hair look is probably out!

Phew! Another week done and we're still thinking of the positives of hairloss! As we've said before, these blogs aren't designed to make you covet hairloss (who would), but they are hopefully demonstrating that it's not all bad! If you have a hairloss positive, don't forget to email us or tweet us and we'll add them to the list! 

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

#100HairFreeDays Part Four

The heat is on and finding more #100HairFreeDays benefits is getting challenging! Here is the round-up from Week Four; nearly a third of the way there!

• Means no nits or lice when they are going around the school!
• No grey hairs when all our friends get old 
• My highlights come ready designed - no expensive trips to the hairdressers every six weeks to get them redone
• No roots - alright some people like them, but personally they're not my thing! No hair means no roots!
• Dandruff is a thing of the past! Period!
• Avoid the £15 price tag on a bottle of home hair dye
• and on the same theme, no dye stains on your hairline where you forgot to apply Vaseline!

Don't forget, if you have any suggestions, send us an email or tweet us and we'll make sure we include them!

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

#100HairFreeDays Third Part Round-Up

Just in case you haven't seen it already, I've set myself the #100HairFreeDays challenge to come up with 100 positive things about losing your hair. Don't get me wrong, this challenge isn't designed to make you embrace your hairloss, but it is designed to highlight the silver linings so it doesn't seem quite so bleak! Challenge yourself to find the positives and see if it helps make things more bearable!

As promised in the first blog, here's a summary from the third week of posts on Twitter! The reasons are getting less obvious now, but I'm determined to do it!

#100HairFreeDays:

• means I never have a 'bad hair day' - at least not in my opinion! I just change wigs instead!
• gave me the opportunity to take part in a magazine photoshoot for Cosmpolitan Magazine which you can read here http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/body/news/a33154/my-amazing-body-alopecia/ and also my personal experience of it here
• stops me having to pluck stray eyebrow hairs that just won't stop growing
• gives me an opportunity to make a difference, at the same time doing something I am totally passionate about
• hairloss has connected me to people in every corner of the globe, from Jamaica to Australia, Brazil to Sweden
• helped me find the man of my dreams (aaaaahhhhh), someone who loves me for me, not for what I look like!
• allows me to join a great bunch of people at Alton Towers this year, all thanks to Alopecia UK

These posts mean I'm officially one fifth of the way there with #100HairFreeDays! Let's hope I can think of another 79 days! Don't forget, if you want to help me out with a suggestion or two, you can Tweet me or email me with a suggestion...

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

Video Blogging... What would you like to see?

A short and sweet post this Saturday morning...

In the next month or two, we're planning to launch a series of Video Blogs to review useful products for us baldies, talk on some of the key issues and share things we think you might find interesting...

While the plan is still a couple of months away from fruition, we're asking you to submit specific products, product types and any other topic that you would like us to cover or would find it interesting for us to investigate. They can be specifically hairloss related e.g. wigs, turbans etc., or they can be a more personal topic e.g. finding love without hair; pretty much anything you are interested in or worried about! The reason that we're asking you to submit ideas so early on is so that it gives us time to line up experts on specific topics, make sure we have a good range of specific products or source any additional support to make it more useful!

Got a good idea? Pop us an email or tweet us and we'll do our best to cover your chosen topic!

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

Looks like @KarenGillan may be rejoining the #BaldHeadedBeauty ranks

A couple of years ago, Doctor Who actress Karen Gillan shaved her head for a movie role. Starring in the film Guardians of the Galaxy, Karen was forced to shave her hair for her role as Nebula. After the shave, she kept her own hair and had a wig made from her natural hair for between takes and after the show; she has since spent two years growing her luscious locks back, only to have to face doing it again!

We think Karen Gillan was a truly gorgeous #BaldHeadedBeauty, but apparently she's dreading it! She said "I have a physical and emotional attachment to this hair. We’ll have to see if I have to shave it. Maybe CGI will have developed further by the time we shoot it.”

Losing your hair is tough, but we think Karen rocks the bald! It's a shame she's so worried about it! You never know perhaps she'll shave her head, embrace it and come along to the Alopecia UK Alton Towers event!

I'd love to interview her about her fears; if I could ask her any questions it'd be:

• What's the scariest thing about losing your hair
• What was the worst thing about being bald?
• We're running #100HairFreeDays - what was the best thing about being bald?
• What advice would you give someone going through hairloss?

Good luck to her!

Victoria x

Watch her shave her head for the first time here:

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

A really sad problem for #BaldHeadedBeauties

Losing your hair is tough and anyone that tells you otherwise probably hasn't experienced it first hand. There are things which can help, like wigs, headscarves and hats, but not everyone feels comfortable using these! There are then those who elect to become a #BaldHeadedBeauty, braving the bald come rain or come shine*!

A very interesting side-effect of losing your hair (at least in my opinion) is society's reaction to it; some people take it in their stride, some will stop and stare, but for some reason, for many, baldness seems to come with a sign that says "Talk to me; I'm dying to hear your opinion!" Whether you are male or female without hair, your lack of luscious locks seems to generate a talking point. Meeting one chap a few weeks ago, he said in his experience losing his hair opened him up to bald jokes and people pointing out he was going bald; in his words, whilst he doesn't particularly mind nowadays, he knows he is balding and if you advised someone they were fat, there would be uproar! Personally, I don't have a huge issue with the comments, because I have taken a personal stance to take the time to explain and educate, raising a little bit more awareness, but I really appreciate those who find it difficult.

On Facebook, I am connected to many suffering with Alopecia and other forms of hairloss. A couple of days ago, I saw a story from a friend who had been approached in a public place (with her young daughter) and told her hairloss was all her own fault and she needed to look after her health and diet better. Nope; pretty sure that's not what's behind the alopecia! Unfortunately, this is more common than it sounds and I recently read an article about a young lady in New Zealand with a similar experience...

As a hairdresser, losing her hair was pretty traumatic, but something she took in her stride. Straight away, she opted to be a #BaldHeadedBeauty, embracing her hairloss and going hair free. Four years later, she's taken the very tough, very personal decision to start wearing wigs; whilst many people go the other way, her decision has been born and triggered by the sheer level of comments and feedback she received. In the article, she described the fact she doesn't want to be accused of 'hiding behind her wigs', but she's struggled with the number and variety of comments; it wasn't that they were even negative, just the number of times a day she had to explain her look and her condition! Whilst on the one hand, this approach has meant she's spent four years educating and raising awareness of the condition, just because of how she looks, I can also empathise with the amount of energy and time required to make all these explanations! What a sad and very tough choice she's had to face!

I totally get the fascination - as a species our curiosity seems naturally endless, and I bet if people thought they were creating a problem they'd be mortified - but it's hard to imagine the endless questions the #BaldHeadedBeauty face!

Sometimes, I wish there was a simpler way to explain that didn't have require so much effort and energy!

In the meantime, for those who do want to opt for the bald, don't be afraid - I've regularly gone out bald and whilst I don't do it all the time, my experience is that the comments aren't that common! I think in part, a job like hairdressing makes it worse, putting you in the limelight!

What about your own experiences? How have they been?

Victoria x

*We advise you gorgeous baldies to wear suncream if the sun is shining! A tomato head is not comfortable - trust me, I know!

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald