Look mummy, she has hair...!

It's known that kids have little or no filter when it comes to speaking their mind, and the younger they are, the worse that can get. However, it's not always a bad thing and whilst their honesty can sometimes be an embarrassment to parents and recipients alike, this refreshing honesty usually isn't malicious and can have some surprising side effects too.

During my stay at the Grange Holburn Hotel, I ventured into the health facilities, making the most of complimentary access to a steam room and sauna. As usual, I wandered around without my wig, and felt perfectly comfortable in the relatively calm and quiet environment. Whilst there, a little boy and his mum hopped into the pool, making the most of their membership during the half-term days. I relaxed, they played and then I coincidentally found myself in the changing room at the same time as three-year-old Arthur and his mum Victoria.

As I dressed, I inevitably reached the final part of my outfit and swiped my favourite wig off the bench. I aligned it in my hands and then tipped my head forward, pulling the elasticated band down over my scalp. As I reverted upright, I turned in time to see Arthur looking at me intently before turning to his mum and saying "Look Mummy, now she has hair!". It took me a second, I blinked and then in the moments that followed I couldn't help but guffaw with laughter. My lack of hair hadn't phased this very cute little boy, nor had the fact that I opted to wear a wig, but instead this three-year-old was fascinated with the seemingly magic trick of growing my hair in ten seconds. I checked with his mum if we could speak and then bent down to chat to this fascinated little boy. 'It's a wig' I said. 'Why?' he asked. 'I have a condition called Alopecia; one day I woke up and my body decided I'd look better without hair so it all disappeared.' 'Oh' he said; 'I like that'.

I then proceeded to chat to his mum (another Victoria) who was making the most of the electricity / running water as her own house was currently cut off by the fire in Holburn. As we chatted, Arthur interrupted again, an intense and irresistible look on his face as he said "You should have two" referring to my wigs. "I do", I said. "In fact I have lots". "What colour are they?" he demanded. "All brown", I replied. "That's what suits me best". Arthur fell silent for a few more seconds, then looked at me intently "I like all the colours" he said "you should have them all."

For me, this was an absolutely wonderful exchange and once again reinforced the fact that negative judgements are more likely to come from adults than kids. In my experience, kids are more readily willing to take things at face value, and accept things just the way they are, adding their own innocent and touching insights if you'll simply give them a chance. The other slightly bitter sweet realisation this gave me is just how strong an influence parents have over children as they grow, and that until adults learn to accept and embrace difference, we're likely to continue seeing generations or young individuals that are unkind and unfair.

Still, for now, Arthur offered me a moment or two of reflection and a moment or two more of laughs and for that I'm grateful to him and his mum. Not having any hair didn't make me 'different' and therefore unwelcome in his eyes, just another person to have a conversation with! Perfect

Victoria x

www.prettybald.co.uk Twitter: @PrettyBald

The Grange Holburn Hotel, London - Massage Review

Why review a massage on a blog dedicated to hairloss? Well actually, it comes as a result of my past experiences, which have sometimes left me baffled and upset at the reaction of therapists to my Alopecia. Let me explain...

I have no hair (d'uh) and whilst to me, that seems perfectly normal and acceptable, to many apparently it is a subject for discussion or for staring. Worse than that, in many spa / beauty experiences, my lack of hair has caused a sub-par treatment that quite frankly is at best disrespectful and at worst downright disgraceful. I have always loved beauty treatments (and have to thank my mum for that expensive habit) but facials to help improve skin condition or massages just because, have often been a feature of weekends away, little bits of luxury, or the 'must-do' treat during an overnight hotel stay. Some of the people who've treated me (before having this blog) have been absolutely superb with handling my hairloss, whereas others have not. The negative reactions I've seen have ranged from a briefly horrified look on the face of my therapist who then proceeded to 'finish' my facial just above my eyebrows, missing three inches of my forehead, to the girl who had so little training in customer care and who's wrists went limp anywhere above my shoulder blades in a massage as she totally lost her confidence. I even had one who asked about my hairloss, and then proceeded to tell me all about how she couldn't do this or that due to my cancer, no matter how many times I corrected her. Don't get me wrong, not everyone will have met someone with Alopecia, and it's entirely likely it didn't come up in training because it's not a contraindication to treatment, however what was sorely lacking in each case was any natural customer service training and the professionalism to ask what they needed to know at the same time maintaining the high-level experience any other client could expect. If someone says "I've never come across Alopecia before, is there anything I need to know, or anyway to make you feel comfortable", it might not be the easiest conversation to have, but at least I can inform them. Instead, there are those who shy away from asking (which is simply poor practice) and then let their ignorance / hesitation negatively affect an experience that I have the 'privelege' to pay for.

Anyway, after that slightly long rant, I will revert to writing about the title - my experience this Easter of a treatment at The Grange Holburn Hotel in London. 

Mum and I had a business meeting in London on Thursday 2nd April and had tickets to The Ideal Home Show at Olympia on Friday 3rd. Rather than spending five hours in the car each day, we understandably decided to book a hotel and in doing so, found ourselves at The Grange. Following our meeting, we checked into the hotel and inevitably meandered our way to the steam room and sauna. The treatments were fully booked on thursday, but they did have two massage spaces Friday morning before check-out - perfect! 

Down I toddle and strip off in the changing rooms, wrapping a fluffy white robe around me; I'd put 'alopecia' on my questionnaire and opted to proceed without a wig in a bid to avoid the aromatherapy oils affecting it's condition or forcing me to wash it. My massage was with a gorgeous lady called Vanesha who was also trained in hairdressing. 'I never would have guessed it was a wig' she said 'You look fab!'. Brownie points straightaway for a) acknowledging it and b) complimenting me! She checked my head wasn't cold as it was uncovered and also asked if it was sensitive or my condition would affect any part of the massage, giving me a chance to reassure her of how I personally feel. 

Well, she then proceeded to give me one of the best full body massages ever and certainly worked her magic on some pesky knots lurking beneath my shoulder blades. More importantly however, she adapted the massage to suit me and my alopecia. She massaged all the areas you'd expect, then as she reached the top of my shoulder blades, and continued up my neck, she didn't stop and simply continued with the massage, incorporating a full scalp massage, right down to my earlobes. It was wonderful! Put simply, it is this very professionalism and calibre of massage that deserves a mention on a blog otherwise dedicated to hairloss! Thanks Vanesha!

What I loved about Vanesha's massage:

• True professionalism - not once did she question or hesitate or treat me as anyone but me! It was fab to have someone with the ability to treat me as I am, a human being the same as everyone else.
• Personalisation - she listened to what I would and wouldn't be happy with, then adapted her techniques to my needs! The added scalp massage might feel invasive for many, but for me, it was truly relaxing and very touching. It also felt right - owning a part of me and reminding me that it's part of me too! 
• A superb massage - no matter what way I look at it, it's one of the best I've had! Anyone who happens to be in the area, I'd recommend you pop in and give her massage a try!

All that remains to be said is thank you Vanesha, and what a truly gorgeous massage! 

Victoria x

P.S. I was here right next to the Holburn underground fire! Oops!