Saturday, 7 March 2015

It's ok to be angry

Alopecia is a funny condition. It can come on suddenly and for the most part doesn't hurt.
And yet emotionally it can be awful.
I've had so so many days where i have sat and cried and got angry and frustrated. This has been because of a mix of things from just wanting my hair back, not feeling confident in a wig or not being able to draw my eyebrows on properly (i spent an hour once trying one time).

At the time i had a counsellor who had been seeing me for years and was still seeing me when i lost my hair. I would get so wound up in sessions as i felt bad about being angry.
You see i had been told so many times that it was only hair and it could be a lot worse by so many people. People would make jokes,  not in a horrible way but a way to lighten the mood i guess.  During all of that i guess what happened was that i became conditioned to feel that way.
My counsellor would tell me it was like a grieving process and i never really understood it.
It was only when i was in a lecture at uni and we were talking about the grief process i understood it all.
I had every single textbook stages of grief except for the acceptance.
From that moment i let myself be upset, angry and everything else inbetween. I had lost a huge part of me and especially for women it's a huge thing.

Now I'm not too bad. I have my days but they are far a few between. The key is to let yourself grieve for what you have lost.

And remember we are all gorgeous no matter if we have hair or not!

Jenny x

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