Hiding... The right word or a lacking definition?

"Hiding" is something that seems to go hand-in-hand with hairloss - at least from a descriptive perspective. Many people associate wearing wigs with "hiding"; many consider keeping hairloss a secret is also "hiding". Is it really though? Is that what we are doing? Hiding?

With the dawn of the internet and the ability to share anonymous commentary (or if not annonymous, at least faceless) comes a lot of opinion expressing. Freedom of speech is brilliant and is a key tenet of modern democracy, but it also inherently means that some of that commentary will be mean, scathing, or downright rude - things you probably wouldn't say to someone's face. What I would argue this has also created is a fear of what people will say and also a consideration of the opinions of others in the decisions we make.

At the beginning of my hairloss journey, I made a decision that I would be open and honest about my Alopecia; I would share (I admit sometimes too much) with those who were interested or intrigued by it, and with those who weren't too. My reasoning for this was that I didn't want Alopecia to 'define' me; I didn't want it to be a reason I couldn't or wouldn't do things; a reason I had to act a certain way. For me, keeping my alopecia a secret was worse than being open and honest about it - the stress of trying to remember who had seen which wig and when (I wanted to embrace the flexibility to change my hair daily) and of trying to keep it covered; worrying about the quality of the wig, the hairline, the position. For me, NOT telling people was a way of me hiding my true self.

This choice was an incredibly personal one and I spent a long time thinking about it, yet I maintain that it was the right decision - FOR ME! That definitely doesn't mean that it's the right one for everyone though!

In the same way that I personally decided revealing it was the best course of action, many opt to reveal hairliss to close family only and many don't even show them. Whilst in some cases I am sure this will be someone hiding in fear of reaction and ridicule, in the majority of cases it will be quite the opposite. Hairloss is a tough subject and one that people need to deal with individually. In the same way iI didn't want my Alopecia to define me and so opted to reveal it, many keep it "hidden" for the exact same reason. Not revealing it allows many to continue living the way they choose to in spite of hairloss issues; opting to not reveal it so that they can continue living unaffected and unchanged. I am struggling here to describe and explain exactly what I mean, but what I do know is that in no matter how you behave about your hairloss, don't let anyone believe you are hiding. Allow yourself to be who you want to be and if a wig makes you feel comfortable, wear one; if it doesn't, don't, but ensure that you aren't made to feel you are somehow hiding. The same goes whether you opt to reveal it or not and if you choose to be proactive about it or ignore it. Sure, there will be times when individuals you meet (or even you my lovely reader) will be truly hiding, but the majority of time, it's just a case of incorrect or inopportune use of the English language - when we lack a better word for what we do or how we behave. I haven't found a better word yet, but I'm thinking about it! In the meantime, I'd love to hear your suggestions for the 'right' word...

Victoria xxx