#HairTodayGoneTomorrow - The unpredictability and inconsistency of alopecia...

You may have noticed at the end of April, me referring to myself as Peachy, in reference to the thick, downy fuzz or fur-like hair currently growing on my face and scalp. The 'good' news is that it's still growing and is marginally longer and downier than it was before, giving me a 'she-wolf-like' coat when I get close up to the mirror.

Now as I have said many times before, and which you can read about here, I'm not particularly keen on the idea of getting my hair back; in fact, my preference would be an unchanging visage, that is predictable and stable. Over the last six months, apart from the fuzz (which is so light no one would notice anyway), I have had truly minor amounts of regrowth, but all in all I have been as I always was. Over the last six weeks however, something has changed...

I have acquired a full set of lashes on each eye, which have been as thick, if not as long as my pre-alopecia lashes. I haven't celebrated with a new tube of mascara, but the longer they stayed, the more likely it felt that they would. After the lashes came the eyebrows and I now have the grand total of five eyebrow hairs.

Two days ago, I woke up and noticed a sixth eyebrow hair is growing in, right at the end of my left eyebrow. Six whole hairs, which to many would be a delight, but to me I'm pretty indifferent to. I'm not sure what it means, or how long they will last, so I leave them be and tend to ignore them. Anyway, there I am with my full sets of lashes and my six eyebrow hairs, not to mention my peach fuzz and I wonder, what does this mean for my immune system? Is it calming down, or is it just the natural unpredictability of alopecia?

I soon had my answer, as yesterday I awoke, bleary eyed and stumbled into the bathroom. I'd left my glasses at my parents by accident so I am poking my finger in my eye putting in contact lenses. That's when I spot it - two days ago, a full set of lashes and now, over half of the top lashes on my left eye are gone. Just like that.

Hmmmm...

I can't say I am particularly bothered - I'm used to this cycle now - but I am definitely intrigued. Intrigued by the speed of the shedding (this is the fastest I've ever lost my lashes) and intrigued by the fact my left eyebrow grows and my left eyelashes shed.

All it serves to remind me is that there is such a lack of understanding of this condition and such an unpredictability and inconsistency to it, which for many I know makes it harder to handle. For me, it is that which we have to learn to accept and conquer and not actually just the hairloss itself, and I must say I regularly see friends post about their desire for their hair to 'make it's mind up'.

I guess all we will know for now and the near future is that it is what it is and we cannot seek to control or manipulate it. Instead, we must learn to at least tolerate, if not love this condition, otherwise quite frankly we risk going nuts!

Victoria x  

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